I hate LA. Always have. The teetering-on-heels, Gucci-sunglass-wearing, iced-mocha-latte-sipping women. The dudes. The tourists. The traffic. The smog. LAX. The Hollywood Walk. A hundred other things. Being there makes me want to rub Purell all over my eyeballs.

So, as you might guess, I wasn’t too excited about my stop in Hollywood. Even less so after I inched forward in traffic for 3 hours. But I knew I couldn’t miss it for the sake of the project.

I arrived at 4:00 PM and the crowd was already swarming for the premier of Inglorious Bastards. My spirits rose. Maybe I could get Quentin Tarantino on video? Brad Pitt? I just had to wait four hours for their limos to arrive.

If you’ve never been to Hollywood Blvd. – it’s a zoo. Thousands of people pointing and taking pictures. To kill some time, I asked advice of a guy dressed as Superman and he said: “Drink more milk! No, no, no…wait…do that again. Another take. Don’t smoke crack!” Funny, I thought.

I asked Edward Scissorhands and he said: “Don’t run with scissors!”

I asked a Jedi and he said: “Be one with the force!”

I had six or seven videos, but it didn’t feel right. It felt so scripted and phony, so against the spontaneity of the project.

As I was walking back toward the red carpet, I came across a dude with a sign that said “Kick me in the ass for $1.” What he said pretty much sums it up.

Good advice. I took it.

2 responses to “Day 17 – LA – Advice from an Aspiring Actor”

  1. mrs.murph says:

    hey matt, just wanted to tell you, you are doing an awesome job. really proud to be able to say i know you and if your mom gets sick of you, i’ll adopt you! keep up the great work, be safe, and we’ll see you back in h-town. love, mrs. murph

  2. Anonymous says:

    That douchebag stole my sign. I’ve been flying it for several weeks in Venice Beach.

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