The Spaces Between Your Fingers

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Starting a family wasn't as involved as it is nowadays. At home pregnancy tests were just being introduced but majority of women still had to make a doctor's appointment to confirm. My grandmother was eager to start her and my grandfather's family. She talked about that day at her first apartment where she took a test too early (she would find out several weeks later that it was a false negative)...

The sound of a hammer pounding echoed throughout the tiny apartment. Enid bit down on her thumb anxiously whilst leaning against the kitchen counter. Pound! Pound! Pound! She recoiled out of instinct from the loud noise. Workmen had been her apartment all morning fixing bedroom furniture. She pushed herself off of the counter and began to pace back and forth in contemplation. She tried to think of ways to distract herself, but she figured television would do nothing and she had no errands to run. She stopped pacing and crossed her arms over her chest. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try. 

She went to the small medicine cabinet in the bathroom. She pulled out the vial and sat down on the toilet. The only thing she could think about was possibility of this being the moment that she and Ross can finally add an addition to their growing family. She tapped her foot as she tried to focus. This could be the most important pee of her life. The one that would alter her life in such a beautiful way. The ability of being able to have a child was nothing short of a miracle. Although they had been trying, not once did she think that she wouldn't be able to get pregnant. Both her older brother and sister had no issues getting pregnant. In fact, she didn't know anyone who had trouble. Why would is start now? And with her, nonetheless? Just my luck. She couldn't help but throw the thought out there into the universe. 

She dropped the ring into the tube and put the cap on it to seal it tight. She shook hard and fast. Her heart beating, blood pounding in her ears drowning the sound of the hammer out. She imagined little feet running up and down the tiny hallway. Late night feedings and comforting. She wanted to pick out paint colors for the nursery and baby clothes. Her favorite would be the tiny shoes she would get to buy. All of these were things should couldn’t wait for. The never ending picking up of toys and diaper changing. Her heart swelled at the possibility.

She examined the tube very closely. 

Her heart sank.

There was no pigment. 

She wasn't pregnant. 

She dragged herself out of the bathroom with the tube still in her hand. At the same time that she passed her bedroom's doorway, one of the workers walked out almost bumping into her. He caught sight of the tube her hand. From the look on her face and the way her slim fingers were gripping onto the tube with all their might, he knew it wasn't a moment for congratulations.

"Don't worry," he said with an encouraging smile, "it'll happen soon enough!"

Oh baby, Oh BABY!

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Late 1960s
Philadelphia, PA

Starting a family wasn't as involved as it is nowadays. At home pregnancy tests were just being introduced but majority of women still had to make a doctor's appointment to confirm. My grandmother was eager to start her and my grandfather's family. She talked about that day at her first apartment where she took a test too early (she would find out several weeks later that it was a false negative)...

Decade: 1960s
Rating:
Recorded by Victoria Leese on December 6, 2019
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