The Spaces Between Your Fingers

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This moment fit into my life because I am very close with my aunt that was sick and I was much younger when this happened so it gave me a better idea of what had been happening.

 Although it felt like an eternity, Mike and Kathy finally arrived at the hospital unsure of what to expect behind those closed doors. Kathy jumped out of the car before it had even come to a full stop and ran toward the hospital doors. Frantically, she continuously pushed that large silver button as though it would make the doors open quicker and the large glass doors finally opened just enough for Kathy to squeeze her way through. The waiting room was completely packed as though everyone was there together, like one big family, sitting side by side. “Where is she?” Kathy nervously asked the admission clerk behind the desk. With her glasses sliding toward the end of her nose, the clerk said, “Who may I ask are you referring to?” At that moment Larry came out and looked as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders to tell her that Clare had been taken into surgery for a shattered leg, but broke down as he went on to say that his wife had paralysis and the doctors are unsure as to what was causing it. He appeared as though he could hardly stand as he bent over rubbing his knees asking Kathy to call the rest of the family.  “This feeling of fear and helplessness is too much to take,” Kathy told her other sisters as she called them to inform them about what was going on. The seconds, minutes, and hours passed so slowly that it felt as though the clock was frozen in time. After listening to the snacks drop from the vending machine hour after hour, the weary family decided to go get something to hold them over. As they walked back to the waiting room, nibbling on the snacks that they did not even feel like eating, the large double white doors creaked open and the doctor stood there in blue scrubs and looking very tired and concerned, removed his mask to talk to Larry. “The surgery went well and she is in recovery, but we have a team of neurologists coming from Jefferson to evaluate the situation because the paralysis is advancing.” Kathy instantly went into panic mode and the overwhelming fear made her think of the absolute worst case scenario. She knew that she needed to stop those thoughts and just pray for her sister and know that whatever happened, Clare would have her constant love and support.

Context:

I interviewed my mom, Kathy at our house in Huntingdon Valley, PA. She was in the brown recliner with a blanket on her lap and our dog, Lilly, was laying sideways next to her. This memory is a hard one for my mom because she and her four sisters are the best of friends and do everything together. It seemed like she has never forgotten one detail from this event and just kept talking about it without even having to think about it.

Fear of the Unknown

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