At last he said," I'm still looking forward to falling in love, no matter it's with a guy or a girl, someone Chinese or foreign, a human or a squirrel. I'm just gonna wait and see what would happen."">
The Spaces Between Your Fingers

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This guy has been to US for 1 and a half years, last time went back was 10 months ago, relationship status: single.<br />
He made me promise would keep him completely anonymous, but also rejected using any fake names because At last he said," I'm still looking forward to falling in love, no matter it's with a guy or a girl, someone Chinese or foreign, a human or a squirrel. I'm just gonna wait and see what would happen."">

6:54AM(2hrs36mins left)
Woke up even before the alarm went off. Spent the following good 25 mins staring at the ceiling going over this whole semester: every detail, every moment, the look in the eyes the words the hand gesture the color of that shirt, as hard as I can like I was trying to carve them into my brain, until finally my brain hurt. So I got up,thought about if I should be dressing up today for the last time --It's freezing outside. And that new jacket made me nervous--as if I wasn't enough already. I gave up eventually. 

7:48 AM(1hrs42mins left)
Stepped into this familiar room I have been to twice a week every week for the past four months. Everyone was already there, reading notes trying to grab whatever was there at the last minute. He was there too, sitting at the front. So I slowly walk to my usual spot at first row, sat down, and looked up, locked with the gaze of his blue eyes. My heart sank.

8:06AM (1hr24min left)
The test sheets had been given out. People sighing. Pens running. Just a glance I saw the answers of each question just emerging on the paper--every goddamn one: the name of that goddess; the cities where they fought; the reason that hero got killed, only visible to me. I couldn't believe I actually learned so much about Greek theater and actually hit interested during this semester--of course all because of him. All I wanted was to impress him.

8:23AM (1hrs07mins left)
Finished the test, just like that. I looked around seeing everyone still having their nose to the paper and I looked back at him: he was reading, didn't notice my gaze. And like the first time met him I noticed that tiny clump of grey hair near his left temple, against the rest of his dark hair. And I stared at it, lost in thought: this is how it would end.

8:58AM (32min left)
Doodling. Tapping the pen. Quick glancing at him. Then more doodling. People started to hand in the tests and leave. I was not near ready, not yet. 10 more minutes,or just 5, oh how much longer can I drag? Suddenly he looked up, knocked into my gaze and smiled as if saying" what are you still doing here?isnt this supposed to be too easy for you?" He knew, he had always knew about me. But did he knew..?

9:27 AM (3 mins left)
Few people left. There's no reason for me to linger any longer. I got up and grabbed my paper, walking to him, his calm gaze waiting for me all along my steps. I would rather him stop. 

9:28AM (2 mins left)
I handed over the paper, whispered " thank you", so soft that even myself hardly heard. But he heard. And he said" keep in touch". I was pretty sure he hadn't said that to anyone else because I was the only one had his number, I would always ask him "questions regarding the class". Maybe I should, you know, contact him or something sometimes since he's moving to another city. Isn't it a polite thing to do when someone said" keep in touch"?

9:30 AM (10 secs left)
But as I walked away and out of that room, closed the door which separated us for the last time. I made my mind that I would never contact him ever again. I fear doing that would only cause me realizing how untouchable things are and further disappointment, which I was pretty sure was what would happen. So this was, the last time, the last time for me. 

The Last Time Counting Down

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2010
Temple University

This guy has been to US for 1 and a half years, last time went back was 10 months ago, relationship status: single.
He made me promise would keep him completely anonymous, but also rejected using any fake names because " that would make it someone else's story".
At last he said," I'm still looking forward to falling in love, no matter it's with a guy or a girl, someone Chinese or foreign, a human or a squirrel. I'm just gonna wait and see what would happen."

Decade: 2010s
Rating:
Recorded by SHIYI TIAN on December 3, 2014
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