My hands began to tremble as well pulled up to the university, but I knew I had to control my emotions in front of my mother and grandmother. This worked until we were done unpacking, then I had to let it all out.

 

I sat on my bed and quietly say, “I can’t do it.”

 

“What? Are you okay Noel?” my grandmother cautiously asked.

 

“I don’t think I can do this, grandma. You know I’m not the most outgoing person, and I don’t have any friends here.”

 

My mother never went to college, so my grandmother was not sure how to handle the situation. She assured me that almost everyone was feeling the same way, but they will ultimately become happier once they adjust to their new lives.

 

“I can’t do this,” I kept thinking in my head.

 

 

At the time, I did not know how to handle all of the different emotions. Was I excited or was I nervous? I second-guessed my decision to live at West Chester University, asking myself if I was going to be homesick or if I was going to be able to live with a person I did not know. Though these feelings made me want to puke, I somehow kept myself in check and maintained a stern appearance. Unfortunately, my grandmother saw right through me.

 

“Noel you will be fine. You will do great things at West Chester and I believe in you. Just remember I'm a phone call away. You are the greatest gift I could have ever received in life. I know this is hard for you, but I know you will achieve great things there just believe in yourself. Remember I'm so proud and I love you so much Noel.”

 

I had no words. Once she said this, I could not hold back the tears any longer. She placed her comforting hand on my shoulder as I covered my face and sobbed. I had not cried in front of my mother or grandmother since I was a child, so they could understand how difficult of a time I was having with this significant change. After gaining control of my emotions, I was able to articulate what needed to be said to the most important figure in my life.

 

“Grandma, I don’t know where I would be without you; maybe I wouldn’t have even made it to college. I can’t begin to express how thankful I am that you have been with me this whole time. You are going to be proud of me.”

 

“I am already so proud of you,” my grandmother assured me.